Hello! It's me again, Matt Frei! Maybe this routine is getting a little dull for y'all (local lingo, my dears) but I just had to rant a little and this is my only forum for letting off steam, ever since BBC Online cut my blog...
So I'm rather gutted that Sara Palin's first interview went to that cheeky Charlie Gibson on ABC.
You know, I had hoped that the fact the BBC is the news service FOR THE WORLD and all, and I'm so nice and easy going (with colour in my hair still! Unlike Gibson!) that Palin and her team might have chosen ME as her first interview, but alas, it wasn't to be.
Instead, I had to talk about the Gibson/Palin interview with my sidekick Katty Kay -- who, like, I talk to every day, so it wasn't exactly the interview of my career (plus, journo-to-journo interviews or 'two-ways' were a huge criticism of the Hutton Inquiry but sadly the producers seem to forget about this fairly regularly) - so anyway, Katty got a bit catty about Palin. She said that Palin didn't understand a question the Gibman asked her, "Do you agree with the Bush doctrine?"
I mean, just because Katty's a blonde and Palin is a brunette.. and Katty went to Oxford and speaks foreign languages (like moi) and Palin shoots things and watches hockey... Well, whatever. So Palin didn't understand the question and didn't seem to know what doctrine meant. So what? I'm sorry Katty. You've been my sidekick for a long time, and you do have alright hair, and you mostly wear nice suits, but you need to understand something about politicians, if you ever want to be the anchor of a GLOBAL NEWS PROGRAMME. You need to know that even if they understand the question, they won't answer it! And even if they understand the question, they sometimes pretend they don't, just to give them time to answer it! Politicians can be nearly as cunning as me, trying to cover my grey hairs!
So, Katty kind of wound me up a little, because I'm working hard to ingratiate myself to the locals, and be all nice and cuddly and friendly to their politicians so we can get the big interviews and compete with the likes of the Gibman and Shepard Smith, and there she was being all sneery and European. Just the kind of liberal elite and sexist attitude (even from another woman! Especially from another woman!) that they'll pick us apart for. Be more like me, Katty! I model myself on everyone's favourite teddy bear:
Just with more hair.
Which reminds me of the questions I would have asked Palin: what hair colour do you use? I'm thinking of switching to the women's brands, they have so much more choice, and all this election stress is really bringing out my grey. Also, how do you get your fringe -- sorry, bangs -- to stay so fluffed? Sometimes I can get that effect with my quiff, but it never lasts when I go outside.
That's all for now.
Byeeee! Matt xoxoxo
2 comments:
I'm pretty sure Matt would also like to ask Sarah about her line in panties. In fact I'm pretty sure Matt secretly wears panties. For once he's getting one over on the producers! And he figures they work well with the hair colour and the self-tan helping to keep him young and on the top of his game. He probably gets racy numbers shipped over from Singapore where he used to work before and sometimes when he's really desperate, he even steals Katty's.
Gosh. How naughty.
It's quite possible he does, you know. I just think he would maybe call them knickers. Maybe. Sometimes he does seem so acclimatized it is just possible he would call them panties.
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